


talk

by softambrollins



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Angst, Apologies, Fluff, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Making Up, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-16
Updated: 2018-10-16
Packaged: 2019-08-03 05:25:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16319963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softambrollins/pseuds/softambrollins
Summary: "I'm sorry about tonight," he murmurs, approaching him slowly, carefully. "That spot should've been yours. And I shouldn't have said all that stuff back there — I just wanted —"Wanted you to listen. Wanted you to talk to me. Wanted you to stay."Seth,stop— you don't gotta —" He's still not quite looking at him, though."No, but I want to. I mean —" He takes a deep breath. "I want you to — talk to me. Or Roman. Orsomeone—""What, we're gonna call Dr. Shelby for some couples counselling?" Dean asks mockingly. "Get the Shield three-for-one special?"





	talk

**Author's Note:**

> Post-RAW October 15th. Because god, these boys just need to sit down and talk about their shit.

"So, you two gonna kiss and make up or do we need to have another little talk?" Roman says, cutting right to the chase, when they get back through the curtain.

Seth just stares at him for a minute before nodding. "Yeah, I'm good."

They both glance over at Dean, who's wearing an impassive expression. "I'm not gonna deck him or anything, if that's what you mean. Not right now anyway."

Seth rolls his eyes but can't help the fond smile from creeping over his lips. Dean's always gonna be Dean.

"Are you guys sure —?" Roman says, looking concerned again. It's the last thing he wants. Roman's had to deal with enough from them tonight.

"We're okay," Seth reassures him. Then he steps closer so that just Roman can hear him now, looks him in eye, quietly says, "I got this."

Roman smiles at him, gently rests his hand on Seth's shoulder, looking behind him at Dean.

"Okay, now I gotta go check on my _actual_ kids," he tells them. "Y'all be good. No calls from the cops tonight."

"That was one time," Dean argues and Roman just shakes his head. 

Roman stops to give Dean another quick, one-armed hug, ruffling his hair, before taking off.

And then Seth turns around to really _look_ at Dean for the first time since they left the ring.

He looks better than he has in some time, but his eyes are still out of focus, staring off into the distance, like his thoughts are far, far away from here. They might have won tonight, but everything's not okay. It hasn't been for a while and Seth hates that it's taken him this long to really _see_ it.

"I'm sorry about tonight," he murmurs, approaching him slowly, carefully. "That spot should've been yours. And I shouldn't have said all that stuff back there — I just wanted —" _Wanted you to listen. Wanted you to talk to me. Wanted you to stay._

"Seth, _stop_ — you don't gotta —" He's still not quite looking at him, though.

"No, but I want to. I mean —" He takes a deep breath. "I want you to — talk to me. Or Roman. Or _someone_ —"

"What, we're gonna call Dr. Shelby for some couples counselling?" Dean asks mockingly. "Get the Shield three-for-one special?"

Seth lets out a soft laugh, shaking his head. The fact that Dean's joking about this and not trying to lash out at him again is a relief, honestly.

"I just want you to do what you need to do," Seth tells him truthfully. "And I'm here if you need anything. Always."

Dean just nods kind of absently. 

Seth's about to leave it at that, hit the showers, talk to him later or in the morning. But then he suddenly stops in his tracks, turning back to him. He lets out a sigh. "Wanna go get a burger or something? It's been awhile."

Dean finally looks up at him, almost in surprise. "Okay," he says, quicker than he expected, almost like he's agreeing to it before he can talk himself out of it.

*

They're sitting in the parking lot and Dean's barely touched his fries and that's how he knows something's really troubling him still.

He starts messing with the radio instead, finally settling on some classic rock station. 

It still feels eerily quiet in the car around them.

Maybe something's been off since he got back, and Seth just didn't want to think about it. Wanted to convince himself that everything was like how it was after they got back together, that things would never get _bad_ again. And then Dean was trying to lock in Dirty Deeds on him in the middle of the ring, and it all came crashing back into him, like a freight train to the heart. After tonight, there's no putting this back in the box.

"Are you okay?" he asks, when the first song ends, which is a reasonable amount of time, he figures. It's the easiest place to start, but it's probably not the simplest question to answer.

Dean scoffs a little at his words. "What the hell is 'okay', really? I don't think I've ever been okay."

Seth absorbs that for a second. Dean's had a hard life, no doubt about it, but Seth knows how much he loves what he does, how hard he works for it, how proud he is of what he's accomplished. He's seen all of that up close. 

"What about last year? We were good, weren't we?" he asks eventually. "For a while."

"Yeah," Dean agrees. "But maybe we were kidding ourselves."

And that stings, that stings a lot. After everything he did to finally, finally get back to Dean.

"You know it's a choice, right?" Seth says, trying to not get frustrated. "We're not destined to be at each other's throats all the time —"

"Well, why does it _always_ happen then?" Dean asks bitterly. "How do we always end up right here?"

"Because we're fucking idiots who never learned how to do this the right way," Seth bursts out all at once.

"And what the hell is the right way?" Dean asks, looking a little lost now.

"You talk to me. I talk to you. Even if it's the hardest fucking thing in the world — You should've _talked_ to us, Dean," he says, voice cracking. "Before all of this."

"And ruin your fucking perfect year?" Dean spits out. "Should I have done that, Seth? When it was going so great for you that you couldn't see that everything wasn't fucking _perfect_ —?"

"Dean —" he breathes out sharply, feeling his head start to ache, his eyes burning.

"No, maybe this was a bad idea," he mutters. "We should just go."

" _Dean_ — No, goddamn it —"

Dean just lets out a frustrated sound and shoves his food away.

He's literally trying to get out of the damn car now, and Seth has to physically reach over and stop him from unlocking the door.

"Quit being a goddamn drama queen, Ambrose."

*

They've been driving for fifteen minutes when Seth figures they've both had enough time to cool down.

"It wasn't fucking _perfect_ ," he says, with gritted teeth. "It was the hardest year of my life. And every single thing that happened — I just kept thinking about you, and how desperately I wanted you to be there. But you weren't. You were going through shit I can't even begin to imagine. And I couldn't do anything about it. And then you came back —"

"And it wasn't everything it was cracked up to be," Dean says dryly.

"Shut up, Dean," Seth tells him, gripping the steering wheel tight, somewhere in between wanting to punch him and wanting to cry. "Maybe I didn't want to see the signs. Maybe I was in denial. Because I just wanted _you_. And I was so fucking scared of losing you again."

Dean just gets really, really quiet for a long moment.

Then, he says, barely audible, "You're not gonna lose me."

Seth takes a minute to pull in front of the hotel and stop the car. Then he lets out a slow exhale, trying to compose himself. "Okay," he says.

And then Dean starts talking. Probably more than he has in months and months.

"You and Roman, you were on top of the world when I came back. And I just had this feeling deep down inside me — like something dark and rotten, like a pit — I was just fucking angry all the time. And I didn't even know why. I was angry that I was gone and I was angry that I was back and I was angry at you and I was angry at myself —"

Seth wishes he didn't know what that felt like, but he does, it's this terrible, useless feeling, this never-ending cycle of resentment and rage and self-loathing and depression — 

He reaches out, gently lays his hand on top of Dean's.

"I'm sorry," Seth tells him, "that you've had to go through that."

"It's not your fault," Dean says soberly. "Taking it out on you tonight — that wasn't fair. And Roman's probably gonna disown us now. You didn't deserve that."

"I fucked up too," Seth admits. "I should've known that you weren't okay. I think — I just started taking it for granted at some point, that you would be there —"

"Well, I'm always gonna be there," Dean promises. "That's what I do, show up. Even if I don't always want to. Even if I'm gonna be an asshole about it."

Seth laughs. "You don't have the monopoly on being an asshole. Not by a long shot."

Dean clears his throat after a second. "Forgive me?" he asks, voice soft and scratchy.

Seth just looks across at him, slightly dazed. "You don't — you don't ever have to ask that. Not from me. You're always forgiven. No matter what."

Dean nods, and then huffs a sigh. "God, we really need to learn how to take it down a bit, don't we?"

Seth grins. "Definitely." 

"Also, _you're_ the drama queen," Dean says.

"Shut up."

Seth's letting out a full-bodied laugh at their stupid bickering when Dean reaches over and, taking his face in his hands, leans in and presses their mouths together in a dry, chapped-lip kiss. It's quick, but warm, and nice, and so soft, noses smushed together, Dean's beard grazing against his own before he pulls away.

"What was that for?" Seth says, blinking up at him. It's pretty wild that Dean can still disarm him so thoroughly like this, after so many years and everything they've been through.

Dean just shrugs. "I just wanted to," he says, like that makes all the sense in the world. And it almost kind of does.

Seth just stares at him for a long time, and Dean gives him just a hint of a real smile, and it's the brightest thing he's ever seen. His eyes look clearer now, too, and there's less tension in his body. He feels more like Dean than he's been in a while.

"We gonna be okay?" Dean asks after a second, searching his eyes, like he just needs to hear it from Seth.

Seth just nods at him without even thinking about it. Just them sitting here right now used to be an impossible dream. Everything about them is impossible and intense and overwhelming and unpredictable. But it's not always. And it's also undeniable. They always end up right back here, together. Dean's his home; he always will be.

"Yeah, we will."


End file.
